Today, I was thinking about emotions. My friends say I am way too emotional, and I also feel that I am. When someone says something hurtful to me, I feel something in my heart; it's like my heart starts crying. So yes, I am emotional, but the truth is I chose to be emotional when I was 16. In my teenage years, I thought it was bad to be emotional. I never cried in front of anyone; I was used to crying on the terrace but never showed my emotional side to anyone because I thought being emotional or showing emotions makes you feel weak. I also didn't show my love to anyone. I dreamt of being alone because I thought if I loved someone, it would become my weakness.
But later, as I grew up and met some beautiful people and became familiar with the concept of accepting yourself the way you are, I learned that I had been hiding the emotional, fun-loving, and real me behind a mask that I used to wear those days. The mask always showed everyone I am strong, but inside I was so weak that I thought about ending my life. It's in the past now; I found out that being your real self matters a lot. Doing and showing what you feel instead of pretending to be rude and strong is the best practice. I have been doing this for like 3-4 years. I am happy and enjoy myself. The only problem that has come with it is that I like behaving like a child who is emotional, gets angry, and gets happy. But everyone around me expects the mature me. In these 4 years, it has happened a million times that people constantly tell me to be the old, mature me instead of this joyful, jubilant girl. I don't care much about their opinion, but when someone who loves you tells you these things, it makes you question: Are you doing everything right?
a good read, once again. thanks for sharing it. my thoughts to it: you say "i am happy and enjoy myself". that's important. good it is. personally, i care that people display maturity. it's imo just important to be, in adult life, & it reflects in a variety of behavioral traits, for ex. responsibility, among many others. i do not necessarily see this in conflict with being "joyful, jubilant" though. the very only issue i eventually saw in being "too emotional" (a wide spectrum in itself) is if other people got hurt, by myself acting uncontrolled, in a negative way. that's something to keep an eye on, i think. other than that i can't see an issue with. i think it's a balancing thing, & not mutually exclusive.
Daily Diary #3
3 Jan 2024
Today, I was thinking about emotions. My friends say I am way too emotional, and I also feel that I am. When someone says something hurtful to me, I feel something in my heart; it's like my heart starts crying. So yes, I am emotional, but the truth is I chose to be emotional when I was 16. In my teenage years, I thought it was bad to be emotional. I never cried in front of anyone; I was used to crying on the terrace but never showed my emotional side to anyone because I thought being emotional or showing emotions makes you feel weak. I also didn't show my love to anyone. I dreamt of being alone because I thought if I loved someone, it would become my weakness.
But later, as I grew up and met some beautiful people and became familiar with the concept of accepting yourself the way you are, I learned that I had been hiding the emotional, fun-loving, and real me behind a mask that I used to wear those days. The mask always showed everyone I am strong, but inside I was so weak that I thought about ending my life. It's in the past now; I found out that being your real self matters a lot. Doing and showing what you feel instead of pretending to be rude and strong is the best practice. I have been doing this for like 3-4 years. I am happy and enjoy myself. The only problem that has come with it is that I like behaving like a child who is emotional, gets angry, and gets happy. But everyone around me expects the mature me. In these 4 years, it has happened a million times that people constantly tell me to be the old, mature me instead of this joyful, jubilant girl. I don't care much about their opinion, but when someone who loves you tells you these things, it makes you question: Are you doing everything right?
love it, never stop doing this, its a treasure to share...
a good read, once again. thanks for sharing it.
my thoughts to it:
you say "i am happy and enjoy myself". that's important. good it is.
personally, i care that people display maturity. it's imo just important to be, in adult life, & it reflects in a variety of behavioral traits, for ex. responsibility, among many others.
i do not necessarily see this in conflict with being "joyful, jubilant" though.
the very only issue i eventually saw in being "too emotional" (a wide spectrum in itself) is if other people got hurt, by myself acting uncontrolled, in a negative way. that's something to keep an eye on, i think. other than that i can't see an issue with.
i think it's a balancing thing, & not mutually exclusive.